MONKEYBUTT

MONKEYBUTT

Monkeybutt is a term of endearment. It’s funny and welcoming at the same time. If I call you this, it is the highest compliment I can give you!! For 15 years I have been including this word in my daily conversations, my formal situations and my political relations.

OK…OK there may have been a few times in my political career that I screamed it out loud at an event or a town hall meeting or maybe a $500.00 event fundraiser and I put the emphasis on the latter part of the word. That is not cool or acceptable when using, Monkeybutt. But then I would smile innocently and follow it up with….I love you (ever so softly) so that I wouldn’t be arrested.

For instance, if your at the DMV and you randomly yell out the word Monkeybutt they will come take your number and give you a new one, which will give you a new position outside the door and at the end of the line. Not that I am speaking from experience or anything, just use your Monkeybutt moments wisely.

When you throw it down, it should be a good experience for you and all of those around you.

Rules of Engagement:

1. Love and embrace the word before you try and use it. This is not for amateurs.
2. Smile when you use it. This way even if your angry, nobody really knows it and you may get a pass.
3. Make a list of your loved ones you intend to reserve it for.
4. Stay focused on the “Monkey” part of the word. If you enunciate the “butt” part, you have lost control.
5. Get a vision of what Monkeybutt means to you, stop laughing and get out there and use it.
6. If your in sales, I would not recommend using it with your clients, your paycheck depends on it.
7. If you in church, just use it wisely and lovingly. Us believers need to lighten up anyway.
8. If your being audited by the IRS….LET IT RIP AND THROW CAUTION TO THE WIND!!!
9. If you have an old friend you haven’t spoken to in a long time call them and say “hey Monkeybutt, I’ve missed you. That will win you points IF THEY REALLY KNOW YOU.
10. A Monkeybutt is a person that is loved, missed, adored, cherished and needs to be aggravated regularly.

If you are reading this, you are an official Monkeybutt and I treasure you in my life. Now go out and use it the “right way.”

How many Monkeybutt’s does it take to turn this country around?

Shouldn’t Obama appoint a Monkeybutt Czar???? Ok now you can laugh!!!

letting go

LETTING GO

We are in a constant state of "letting go."

Consciously or subconsciously we never stop. Believe it or not, this is part of what keeps us healthy, strong and able to survive emotional and physical overload. Just recently I found myself forced to let go of a relationship it took a lifetime to grow. This takes an immense amount of water and nurturing.....much like a flower garden.

Over time, I took inventory of my friendship and then one day it happened. I discovered news that would change my life forever. These are the types of scenarios friendship are made to endure. Instead of bringing us closer, it ushered in the end of our friendship. In the absence of a phone call or an explanation from my friend as to why,(I) decided it was time to "let go." I emphasis my "letting go" because for me, that was the road to my overall health and well-being. For so many years, I was the giver and the caretaker and it had taken an extreme toll on me.

There are two types of people in this world; Givers and Takers.

Upon realizing that, I had always been the "giver" in our friendship so that it became as clear as a mountain stream why I wasn't hearing from her.

As I searched my heart about this matter I understood my truth...There is only ONE who loves me unconditionally. He was the "Ultimate Giver." He gave his life for mine or better, He traded his life for mine. Yes, I know it doesn't make sense but it's true, it's real and it's something you can count.

Upon this realization.....I am full again!

So ask yourself, which one are you a "giver" or a "taker?"

Ponder it in your heart and by all means, do whatever it takes to be "the giver" your inner circle needs.

After all that is truly our legacy.

Loving Life, Lauren Veach

MEN GONE CRAZY!!!!!

How many times has your husband or boyfriend walked up to you and said something like this;
Honey, do you have any plans tonight? What he really means is.... he has plans of his own and he is testing your water baby!!

How about this one: I was recently in Atlanta visiting my children and my husband kept calling me wanting to know when I was coming home. Now I will admit some women might be suspicious of that. But if you knew my husband who is a farmer, gardener, fisherman, working on his antique car, always working on our boats, tractor, and harvesting our vegetables then you would know that ALL of those above spell one thing....a big fat mess waiting on me at home!!!! If he can get the skinny on when my arrival time, he waits until the very last minute to get all of his clothes in a BIG neat pile and have all of the dishes in the sink stacked to the ceiling and he makes a valiant attempt to shut all of the cabinet doors in the kitchen that have been standing wide open since the minute I left.

I rush home from Atlanta because I know he's been missing me (hopefully) and he says so sweetly....honey do you want to go fishing with me in the morning? To which I ask, how many do you have on board, he answers 7 or 8 and HE KNOWS that I'm not going... too many for me.

My husband, Kerry has a disease called "I can't stop" and I love him for it. While I find it hard to sit and watch a movie without finding plenty to do, he can. And when I want him to go for a swim with me in our pool, next thing I know he's cutting down a tree.

So next time your husband says, honey when do you think you'll be getting home? Tell him your not sure and maybe he'll keep the house cleaner. That for me, is my definition of "Men Gone Crazy" and I hope it stays that way. I love my husband and were both a little crazy and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Gotta go make him turn off the chain saw it's 2 am in the morning.... I told you!!!!!

WOMEN GONE CRAZY !! VIP CLUB

May 14, 2009

In a coffee shop last week having a little “me” time a lady comes and sits down next to me and says “Hello, How are you and by the way, you look like you’re my age do you hate your life right now?” I laughed so hard coffee came flying out of my mouth!!!

After spending time conversing, I came to understand her sense of desperation. And although I don’t remember all of the details, I remembered her using words like, I’m sad, hopeless, constantly fatigued, not sleeping, flu-like pain, loss of passion for everything she loved, depressed, oppressed, POSSESSED and any other “sessed” you can imagine.

She was a WRECK!

AND THEN IT HIT ME…..SHE’S TALKING ABOUT ME…I’M HER…NO, NO SHE IS ME….STOP…WE ARE GOING DOWN THE SAME ROAD AT THE SAME TIME! If felt as though I had been listening to myself. I quickly realized that she and I shared something wonderful and spookaful (new word: meaning SCAREY).

With a southern belle draw, I yelled out loud over my coffee “you mean your right in eye of the Menopause Storm too?” It was as if I expected a parade to start up at that point in time. I was excited and sad and felt a sick sense of belonging in that sisterhood bubble of Menopause World.

I was so excited I proclaimed loudly YES, YES, YES I too hate my life, run from my husband and well to speak of it…… I am not up to ……ANYTHING!

It was at this point I knew that I had joined a very elite, very accomplished, mature group of women who have made a massive contribution in their families, their careers and probably not enough time for themselves. While my younger friends are talking about flying to exotic places for the weekend all I can dream about is putting on my pajamas and taking a nap.

WELCOME TO MEN-O-PAUSE VIP CLUB BABY!!!!!!!

My definition of menopause is easy. Menopause; I am taking a “pause” from the world and the “man” in my life bless his heart has to try and love me through it!!!

Wouldn’t you love to be him????

I’m exhausted…….going to take a nap.

www.laurenveach.com